Duty a woman oweth to her husband

Orwell's Picnic: Such duty as the subject owes the prince, Even such a woman oweth to her husband

It's good to know that there's a few women out there that still believe this. It's in the vast minority in the west, but there are still a few good women.

As I mentioned before, I tend to counsel good Catholic men to avoid marriage and to live a celibate life, because the deck is so far stacked against them that the odds are not worth it. Most will ignore my advice, and who can blame them? They are under an intense amount of social pressure from family, friends, and limp-wristed feminized clergy who counsel them to just find a "nice girl." If you must go down this route, know that though there are a handful of good women, like Ms. White, out there who understand what it is to be a woman, you should look for possible warning signs. Remember, you don't just want to pick a lady that's fun to spend time with -- that's how you pick a friend. The devout Catholic man wants to pick a good wife and mother. Here are a list of things to consider:

1) Has she lived a chaste life? If she's a convert or revert, has she at least been chaste for the majority of the time after she converted? This is an excellent indicator as to whether she will remain faithful. If she's had few or no sexual partners in the past, she's significantly less likely to stray or consider divorce. It means that she takes sex, and thus marriage, seriously, and is more likely to be willing to actually stick around after she gets bored with you.

2) Has she discerned religious life? What are her attitudes towards it? Could she see herself being happy as a sister in a convent? Does she understand the appeal to those who are called? This will tell you an awful lot about a woman.

3) Does she "latch on" to priests and seminarians, spending an inordinate amount of time with one or many of them, because they are "safe"? Big flag -- she may be the "conservative" Catholic version of a fag hag. She clearly lacks understanding as to the effect she has on men, and the near occasion of sin she may be putting them under. She will likely keep intimate male friendships even post marriage, and complain to them about your marital problems, even using them to compare you to. She likely has issues keeping female friendships.

4) Does she enjoy cooking? Does she do so well? Does she keep a clean house/apartment/dorm/etc.? If no to either, chances are that she will consider her wifely duties to be drudgery. She will, in turn, resent you, and make you miserable, because the toil you do in the office is really just a 8-12 hour party every day!

5) Does she spend a lot of time complaining about other people to you? Is she sensitive to the slightest bit of perceived rudeness from her family or friends? If so, she will surely complain about you to her friends, and in turn, all your friends will be aware of every little thing you do wrong.

6) Does she tell you things that her friends tell her in confidence? If so, she is simply unable to keep a secret, and your family matters will be known to all of your friends and family.

7) Does she let you end arguments, or must they always be on her terms? If so, this will get worse in marriage -- far worse. She will bludgeon you with endless argument until you run out of energy to disagree with her.

8) Does she mind her figure at all? Does she exercise, eat healthy, and try to look her best? It's not necessary that she looks like a supermodel, but she should at least put effort into her presentation. If not, this will get far, far worse in marriage, particularly when kids come along. When you are busy rearing kids, it's particularly hard to form good habits; best they already be there to begin with. Very few women are even biologically capable of keeping a semblance of their pre-childbirth body, nor should a husband hold themselves to that standard. Nevertheless, children should not be an excuse to gain 50+ lbs. and not do anything about it. She should not only strive to be healthy, but also to still be attractive to her husband.

9) Does she follow your lead? Does she allow you to lead in most things? If you are seriously discerning marriage with her or engaged, does she talk to you about major financial decisions? If so, how does she regard your advice? If she does not wish to live at least in spirit of deference to you, she will not magically become submissive and obedient in marriage. The priests at my parish counsel women who are in serious relationships that could end in marriage to practice obedience to her potential husband-to-be. If she cannot defer to you, it's better for the both of you to know that early, and move on.

10) What is her family like? Are her parents divorced? What is her relationship with her parents like? How well do you get along with her parents? Siblings? Aunts, uncles and cousins? Many people say that it's unfair to judge a woman by her family, because she cannot choose them. That's hogwash -- people are greatly affected by their relatives. If she comes from a dysfunctional family, chances are the family you form together will be dysfunctional as well. Also, you don't just marry the girl, you marry into her family.

11) Has she spent any significant time in counseling? Does she take anti-depressants or other mood-altering drugs? If she's spent a lot of time talking to shrinks, she's likely going to be screwed up and selfish. That's simply what shrinks do to people.

This is not an exhaustive list. I may add/change it in the future.